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A workplace bully is not usually instantaneously recognizable. It would be so much easier if a large multi-coloured placard was velcro-ed to each bully's forehead with a message to 'Beware of Bully Attached Hereto'. Instead, bullies come in various shapes, genders (only two clearcut choices for this criterion), ages, educational backgrounds, belief systems and financial situations. With this vast array of possibilities, how can you choose the best bully to work with? Each bully has their own special style, which is not obvious to the casual observer. To make it more challenging, often the bully will not show their true colours to new employees, but rather save their best oppressive behaviours for longer-term employees. Perhaps they operate like a Venus Flytrap. The victims are lured in, only to be consumed when it is too late to escape.

To help you sort out your preferences, I have identified some excellent candidates from my personal experiences. The following bullies have played a part in my life and deserve special recognition in this blog.

Dream Big Award
Mr. Toad was the manager of a small utilities office, with a number of office and outside workers toiling under his watchful gaze. Short in stature but wide across the beam, he nonetheless cast a long shadow over the tadpoles in his pool of influence. Cruising alongside the corridors of powerlines, Mr. Toad rode comfortably in a large cream-coloured Cadillac, perhaps to enhance the illusion of power and size. He loved to sneak around looking for problems, seeking rumours, and uncovering errors, so he could ambush his employees with accusations of their ineptitude (which only he can correct). With delight, he recounted stories of how he had brought big, strong outside utility workers to tears with his self-professed imposing management style. Do not question Mr. Toad's plans, conclusions or style, unless you enjoy a severe tongue lashing.

Ivory Tower Award
Mrs. Citadel was a senior manager who had successfully created a well fortified and defended high ground from which she could rain down insults and complaints upon her subjects. So complete was the brickwork of her makeup, she could not be moved by ideas or suggestions of her underlings. Using ridicule and sarcasm as weapons, she successfully beat back the waves of progress and creativity. And don't look for pity or understanding here, as they are signs of weakness to be criticized and exploited. Blame is gratuitously assigned to whomever annoys Mrs. Citadel. There is only one way to proceed and that is Mrs. Citadel's way - even if it does seem to you to be inconsistent. Major accomplishment includes keeping staff at work when water supply was interrupted for over a day. Staff needing to pee could venture several hundred yards outside in the snow to get to the porta-potties brought in special for the occasion. I guess this did have the benefit of offsetting the lack of fire sprinkler systems with full bladders which could be used in event of fire.

Silver Fox Award
Mr. Teflon was a high profile manager who had honed his bullying skills to a fine edged weapon. Regular harangues involving yelling, swearing, threats of violence, and table pounding provided evidence that he was the leader of the pack. Very sly and cunning, Mr. Teflon learned to focus his bullying on those who would be least likely to expose him. Very charming to folks with the ability to promote or improve his 'reputation', he successfully created an environment of protection for himself. He used innuendoes, untruths, and outright lies to avoid anyone hunting down the truth about his actions; and also to damage the reputations of others. Through the practice of hiring friends, lovers and relatives, he could keep an eye on others, keeping his 'victims' off balance, and preventing his superiors from catching his scent.

Each of the above individuals are very different in so many ways. However, they also share behaviours which identify them for what they really are - bullies. They do not like to have their actions or communications questions, as it is a challenge to the control they need to feel.